The Enneagram can help us explore the core beliefs that we marry with a “until death do us part” kind of attitude. It was an arranged marriage that happened without our conscious consent when we were too young to know better. Our loyalty to these core beliefs helped us find our way in the world. It gave us our identity, like a ring on a finger can. I am someone!
While these beliefs give us some sense of security, they can also be the basis of a debilitating relationship, with ourselves and with others. Remember, you were married to them before you could choose. But now you can. You can choose to appreciate and cherish that early marriage for what it gave you and then you can say, “I want to try something new.” While you may want a divorce, maybe you could settle for a change in the marriage contract. This is probably more realistic.
We can consciously see how we limit our possibilities through core beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” or “people can’t be trusted,” or “I will never get what I want so why try,” or “feelings are not to be trusted,” or”¦..you get the idea. We can question the validity of these assumptions and decide differently. To choose something new, you must expose the hidden loyalties.
Come to our next gathering and let’s explore these core beliefs and the limitations they impose. There may be another way!