Core Beliefs, Idealizations and Avoidances

Type One ”“ The Perfectionist

Compensating Belief: You must gain worthiness and love through being as good and perfect as possible, because the world judges and punishes “bad” behavior.

Idealization:  I am good and right.

Avoidance: Making mistakes, losing self-control, being so wrong that you are unworthy.

Type Two ”“ The Giver

Compensating Belief: To get you must give. To be loved you must be needed.

Idealization:  I am helpful.

Avoidance: Disappointing others, becoming useless, being seen negatively in the eyes of important others, and getting rejected.

Type Three ”“ The Performer

Compensating Belief: The world rewards doing, not being. To be loved, you become a little human “doing” instead of a human “being.”

Idealization:  I am successful.

Avoidance: Being a failure, becoming incapacitated by your own strong true feelings (an unconscious fear that you will be unable to accomplish anything).

Type Four ”“ The Romantic

Compensating Belief: A painful loss of original connection leaves a terrible feeling of deficiency and a sense that something vitally important and special is missing which must be regained.

Idealization:  I am authentic.

Avoidance: Being ordinary, deficient, lacking.

Type Five ”“ The Observer

Compensating Belief: The world demands too much from people and gives them too little, potentially resulting in a scarcity of resources.  I must conserve.

Idealization:  I am knowledgeable.

Avoidance: Intrusion and demands by others leading to depletion of energy or to a sense of inadequacy.

Type Six ”“ The Loyal Skeptic

Compensating Belief: The world is dangerous, threatening. People can’t be trusted. You must seek (the phobic style) or defy (the counter-phobic style) security, avoid or face danger.

Idealization:  I am loyal.  (I am guarding your/my safety no matter what!)

Avoidance: Becoming helpless and defenseless, avoided either by aligning with authority (the phobic style) or by defying it (the counter-phobic style).

Type Seven ”“ The Epicure

Compensating Belief: The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain that can be escaped.

Idealization:  I am OK.

Avoidance: Frustrations, constraints, limits, getting enmeshed in suffering.

Type Eight ”“ The Protector

Compensating Belief: This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take advantage of the innocent and impose their personal truths on others.

Idealization:  I am strong.

Avoidance: Weakness, becoming vulnerable and powerless.

Type Nine ”“ The Mediator

Compensating Belief: The world makes you unimportant and/or requires that you blend in.

Idealization:  I am harmonious.

Avoidance: Conflict and discomfort by going along to get along, hence not  getting dismissed.


(much of this material is gleaned from Helen Palmer, David Daniels, and Peter O’Hanrahan)


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply