Type One ”“ The Perfectionist
Compensating Belief: You must gain worthiness and love through being as good and perfect as possible, because the world judges and punishes “bad” behavior.
Idealization: I am good and right.
Avoidance: Making mistakes, losing self-control, being so wrong that you are unworthy.
Type Two ”“ The Giver
Compensating Belief: To get you must give. To be loved you must be needed.
Idealization: I am helpful.
Avoidance: Disappointing others, becoming useless, being seen negatively in the eyes of important others, and getting rejected.
Type Three ”“ The Performer
Compensating Belief: The world rewards doing, not being. To be loved, you become a little human “doing” instead of a human “being.”
Idealization: I am successful.
Avoidance: Being a failure, becoming incapacitated by your own strong true feelings (an unconscious fear that you will be unable to accomplish anything).
Type Four ”“ The Romantic
Compensating Belief: A painful loss of original connection leaves a terrible feeling of deficiency and a sense that something vitally important and special is missing which must be regained.
Idealization: I am authentic.
Avoidance: Being ordinary, deficient, lacking.
Type Five ”“ The Observer
Compensating Belief: The world demands too much from people and gives them too little, potentially resulting in a scarcity of resources. I must conserve.
Idealization: I am knowledgeable.
Avoidance: Intrusion and demands by others leading to depletion of energy or to a sense of inadequacy.
Type Six ”“ The Loyal Skeptic
Compensating Belief: The world is dangerous, threatening. People can’t be trusted. You must seek (the phobic style) or defy (the counter-phobic style) security, avoid or face danger.
Idealization: I am loyal. (I am guarding your/my safety no matter what!)
Avoidance: Becoming helpless and defenseless, avoided either by aligning with authority (the phobic style) or by defying it (the counter-phobic style).
Type Seven ”“ The Epicure
Compensating Belief: The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain that can be escaped.
Idealization: I am OK.
Avoidance: Frustrations, constraints, limits, getting enmeshed in suffering.
Type Eight ”“ The Protector
Compensating Belief: This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take advantage of the innocent and impose their personal truths on others.
Idealization: I am strong.
Avoidance: Weakness, becoming vulnerable and powerless.
Type Nine ”“ The Mediator
Compensating Belief: The world makes you unimportant and/or requires that you blend in.
Idealization: I am harmonious.
Avoidance: Conflict and discomfort by going along to get along, hence not getting dismissed.
(much of this material is gleaned from Helen Palmer, David Daniels, and Peter O’Hanrahan)
