Core Beliefs, Idealizations and Avoidances

Type One ”“ The Perfectionist

Compensating Belief: You must gain worthiness and love through being as good and perfect as possible, because the world judges and punishes “bad” behavior.

Idealization:  I am good and right.

Avoidance: Making mistakes, losing self-control, being so wrong that you are unworthy.

Type Two ”“ The Giver

Compensating Belief: To get you must give. To be loved you must be needed.

Idealization:  I am helpful.

Avoidance: Disappointing others, becoming useless, being seen negatively in the eyes of important others, and getting rejected.

Type Three ”“ The Performer

Compensating Belief: The world rewards doing, not being. To be loved, you become a little human “doing” instead of a human “being.”

Idealization:  I am successful.

Avoidance: Being a failure, becoming incapacitated by your own strong true feelings (an unconscious fear that you will be unable to accomplish anything).

Type Four ”“ The Romantic

Compensating Belief: A painful loss of original connection leaves a terrible feeling of deficiency and a sense that something vitally important and special is missing which must be regained.

Idealization:  I am authentic.

Avoidance: Being ordinary, deficient, lacking.

Type Five ”“ The Observer

Compensating Belief: The world demands too much from people and gives them too little, potentially resulting in a scarcity of resources.  I must conserve.

Idealization:  I am knowledgeable.

Avoidance: Intrusion and demands by others leading to depletion of energy or to a sense of inadequacy.

Type Six ”“ The Loyal Skeptic

Compensating Belief: The world is dangerous, threatening. People can’t be trusted. You must seek (the phobic style) or defy (the counter-phobic style) security, avoid or face danger.

Idealization:  I am loyal.  (I am guarding your/my safety no matter what!)

Avoidance: Becoming helpless and defenseless, avoided either by aligning with authority (the phobic style) or by defying it (the counter-phobic style).

Type Seven ”“ The Epicure

Compensating Belief: The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain that can be escaped.

Idealization:  I am OK.

Avoidance: Frustrations, constraints, limits, getting enmeshed in suffering.

Type Eight ”“ The Protector

Compensating Belief: This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take advantage of the innocent and impose their personal truths on others.

Idealization:  I am strong.

Avoidance: Weakness, becoming vulnerable and powerless.

Type Nine ”“ The Mediator

Compensating Belief: The world makes you unimportant and/or requires that you blend in.

Idealization:  I am harmonious.

Avoidance: Conflict and discomfort by going along to get along, hence not  getting dismissed.

 

(much of this material is gleaned from Helen Palmer, David Daniels, and Peter O’Hanrahan)

 

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